Apparently

Ickis, Krumb, Oblina....

2006-05-06T10:42:00.000-07:00

I would just like to find out the general consensus on "Oblina" from an ancient cartoon "AHHHHH Real Monsters" (do not quote me on the number of "h's" in the title). Does anyone else feel that she is in fact the BEST CARTOON CHARACTER ever in the history of cartoons....excepting perhaps Danger Mouse. I feel that if more people felt the same affiliation with Oblina that I do, that perhaps the world would be a better place. If we could all dress up as Oblina on a designated day of the year and walk around shouting nothing but "ICKIS" at people then the war in Iraq could have been avoided, there would have been no need for John Howard to have been re-elected nor for Bronwyn Bishop (she has infested my home with a complimentary calander that I keep on the fridge to supress my appitite) being kept alive by whatever unnatural force allows it. On the whole I feel that Oblina, in all honesty, could save the world.

Firefly

2006-03-26T20:13:00.000-08:00

I have spent the day doing fabulous things. I had breakfast on the beach with Geordie who is proving to be my best friend. I love hanging out with him. How can something so passionate become so brilliantly plutonic. He is reading on his bed and I am typing away on the computer. Which is Mac and super dooper saucy! I am enjoying his company tenfold. I am glad that all the shit is behind us and we are friends. So...a while ago I went to see "Serenity" at the cinemas, and I enjoyed it, except for the final fightscene that went on WAY too long. I was forced to pass the time by doing my own version of the battle, in the cinema, in interpretive dance. I was never forgiven for this. I was sent to a row behind the friends I was sitting with. ANYWAY, I have spent about two hours watching "Firefly" which is the series and it is fantastic. It just works. The formula is brilliant, the script is good, the acting is above par and there are lesbians and love affairs and cannibalistic enraged....all of which make for a healthy fantasy plot. I am obsessed. Thank you Geordie and family.

It is such a beautiful day today. I am not going to waste it infront of a computer. I got to eat the most spectacular breakfast in the sun, by the ocean, listening to the birds and watching the swell roll in, in perfect blue tubes. White horses breaking on the shore. Enjoyed a beautiful flat white and did not have a ciggarette at all. I think I am beginning to turn myself against them. If that is what my body wants then I shall go with it. Fabulous. Anyway I am planning to take my clothes off and let the ocean envelop my body.

That is all.

bottle your brilliance and sell it to chickens

2006-03-22T17:18:00.000-08:00

byron you are brilliant. utterly. there are no words to describe how i feel about you except that maybe i am in a constant state of awe. you musn't doubt yourself for even a nano-second. run all your music by me. show me all your lyrics. call me at 3 am i care not. never hide from me and don't hide from the world. i love you with all my heart. let's go to the mca again. let us laugh forever. let us be in love for all time (obviously without the sex bit). i will be with you for eternity.

tangled up in blue....eyes, blonde hair and a smile that could stop me from moving

2006-03-22T05:24:00.000-08:00

What did I think was going to happen? He would just run to me because we connect, because we get on well? He's not attracted to me. He doesn't want me or think about me all the time. I think I amuse him like a woodwork toy. Facinated by its simple nature.

But when he smiles at me. When he asks me how I feel. Giggles when I get passionate about the inane. His inarticulate way. They way he listens to the things I say and remembers. Calls me because he just wants to hear what I have to say. Just to listen to me talk. Asks me if I dreamed last night. Such genuin interest I cannot concieve.

But I could talk to him all night. I could try and decipher the sub-script, but I don't want to work that hard. I don't want to feel like I am playing a game I don't know the rules to, stumbling through trying not to make a mistake or miss a turn. I just want to be held. Just for a moment. Then the conversation could continue.

utterly astounding what estranged relatives choose to send you...

2006-03-21T23:23:00.000-08:00

Well. For the first time since I was about six I was sent a birthday present from my Auntie Pam. I think the last time we spoke I was still at school and doing "very well" and my parents were "so proud". What a change has occured since those days. Unfortunately I can no longer fit into either of those categories, but nonetheless, she sends me a present. What possessed her I will never know. The present included....a fake pearl necklace that is strung together with what I can only descibe as silver string....a magnetic hotplate...a lottery ticket and milk frother. I have no idea. Don't ask me. If you have any thoughts, please report them to me a soon as possible.

Watch Dog Extrordinare

2006-03-21T22:45:00.000-08:00

Well, this evening I am watching my parents house. I think I may have graduated to semi-adult in their eyes now. As I am no longer a resident of this residence. I have full access to the internet as a result and am very pleased to report that I had 48 unanswered emails. I love feeling popular. Allbeit that I have not checked my emails in about 5 weeks. I still feel a great sense of value. My car is in for service and possibly it is the most inconveniant state of affairs. Public Transport is not cheaper! They lied to me! Not to mention I seem to live and travel to areas where the state government feels that no one lives, and even if they do live there they have no need of public transport as no one wishes to leave or return. Surely something can be done about this. But I need your help I am thinking of writing another strongly worded email to the Manly Daily. I am unimpressed by my own irritability about such issues. I think I need to be sedated before I break out in a stress rash.

Well, the angel has fallen

2006-03-11T20:55:00.000-08:00

I understand that I have given off a sense of being holier-than-thou in my previous blogs. I take it all back. I am no longer the pillar of moral virtue I so thought I was. I am fallen. An idiot. I deserve to be covered in honey, rolled in ants and thrown into a pit of wild, ravenous aardvarks. If only I had paid attention ealier, maybe not been so frivalous or easily manipulated or so eager to please or so convoluded. Any of the above, maybe just maybe I could have avoided this whole bullshit mess. Maybe I should have been a better person. But rest assured I will pay my price. It will stay with me forever. But I can not blame another soul. It is a trap of my own making. I have to get myself out.

Radiohead - redefining the very idium that is modern music

2006-02-23T18:00:00.000-08:00

A day spent in the company of Radiohead. I feel I want to kiss passionately, cut myself, paint, write and sing. How terribly confusing.

sick on your birthday

2006-02-23T17:54:00.000-08:00

Sick.
Feverish.
Your knight in shining armour not who you expected.
Let down by those you did not expect.
Lied to again by those you never suspect.
Alone. Tired. But not as alone as you thought.
No claim on me you have no right to be like this.
But feel free.
You obviously lead a rich fantasy life.
Jealous? Seriously?
You could have come first....
But he came instead and was brilliant, caring, constantly attentive.
Disappointed in me or yourself?
Intersting. Very interesting....

my bed is full of sand and i am tired

2006-02-19T08:43:00.000-08:00

Well. I am alone again. It is 3:44am and I am still awake. I should be in bed, well I am in bed but sleeping rather than pouring out strange and not at all prolific shit onto the internet. My bed is full of sand. From what source I cannot tell. I think there might be a conspiracy. My floor is covered with clothes, clothes that should be put away, cared for, I am sure that if I have time for this I could find the time to clean. But to be honest my heart just isn't in it.

I am overcome with a sense of isolation and solitude. All of which is unwanted. I should like to be held, looked at in admiration and desire, I'd like to be not sleeping because I was too involved with someone else's eyes, the rhythm of their breathing, the way they lazily stroke there fingers up and down the curve in my side. But instead I am alone writing this sentimental rubbish onto the internet.

Forever waiting for that certain person to stop playing the games I wanted to play before and tell me how they feel. What are they so afraid of? That I would say no? How could they think that?
Am I cold and forboding? Cruel? I thought I was soft and warm and inviting. But if that were the case, would I be alone tonight?

Steve Irwin is now invading our shopping malls....lock up your children and any scaly pets...

2006-02-19T05:55:00.000-08:00

Holy fuck. Terror reigns. Everyone take cover. The apocolypse is upon us! There is a childrens ride which features no less than Steve Irwin the Crocodile Hunter, in a jeep, with a crocodile and a terrified poodle. What has the world come to? I don;t think I need to express any further disgust on this matter...whatever is in your imagination whilst you are thinking of this horrific entertainment....double it. It still won't be as atrocious as the actuality.

Coles #668 - The neighbour of the Beast

2006-02-19T05:48:00.000-08:00

Has anyone actually noticed that Coles, which is supposed to be a "Food Store" does not actually sell any actual food stuffs? In reality it is all just powdered things in pretty packaging which, with the right ingrediants, one could use to make quite a lovely meal, but Coles has missed out on one vital part of this equation, the actual food. Oh yes, it is happy to promote the sale of Chemise, of the luxury satin variety, which in all fairness would look fantastic on a woman sporting a well earned GUNT but no actual food. NO FUCKING FOOD AT ALL. How am I supposed to "save everyday" on FOOD when there is NO FOOD. Riddle me that Lisa McCune. Riddle me that.

palm beach, a bush, an irrational fear of staplers all wrapped up in a basket of perplexedness

2006-01-29T05:47:00.000-08:00

Perhaps if one was to skin mischa one could make a rather lovely bikini with matching thongs....I shall put it on my to do list.

eat something mischa

2006-01-27T07:43:00.000-08:00

i have a few things to say on the matter of mischa barton (who needs to die)
(1) EAT SOMETHING.....NOW.........anything i'm not fussy, anything will do but EAT SOMETHING
(2) does anyone know if she has more than her three facial expressions all of which are variations on perplexed....?
(3) can she spell perplexed?
(4) can she spell?
(5) she thinks that the world is her oyster, but if you think about the whole thing logically the beautiful pearl in the oyster started off as a piece of dirt that was pissing of the oyster. As a living member of mischa's oyster, she is PISSING ME OFF. I am going to be forced to coat her in mucus over an extended period of time, then when i die someone can cut me open and an overfed, engorged rich woman with a spray tan gone wrong can wear her as a clit ring!

Technology Hurts my soul

2006-01-21T18:07:00.000-08:00

Oh and Byron slammed my arm in a car door. By the way. I hate technology, it hurts me. Cuts me deep. Rips me in two. Me and technology are like a book that was never written. I have decided to shoot it from a grassy knoll. It needs to die like Hillary Duff needs to die....painfully!

Inspired by seven years of bad luck

2006-01-21T17:46:00.000-08:00

So having sufferd an immense amount of crap in the last 7 days I thought that I would have something to say about it. Looking back over it it is all rather amusing. Not so amusing at the time.
I was involved in a driving incident that was not my fault. A three car pile up. I was at the front. My car is rooted. Quite officially. Then I got a flat tire but due to the accident I could not get the spare out so I was stuck in the pouring rain at a garage where no one actually knows anything about cars and can not speak english either so had no choice but to call NRMA who could do nothing for me except send me a tow truck at my own expense. So I called on friend to rescue me but now I have an excess amount of tires none of which actually work. During this time two friends die and I am struggling to meet the rent. Also why would you fit a car with tires that cost $200 to fix and keep going flat. A conspiracy captain. I can feel it in my bones. BASTARDS.

Thought of the day: If a cat always lands on it's feet. And toast always lands on it's buttered side. If you buttered a cat would it land on its back?